


Wishing Dust

by finite



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: A sprinkle of fluff, M/M, Maybe a rollercoaster of emotions, a sprinkle of angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-05-12 19:21:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5677717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/finite/pseuds/finite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nam Woohyun grew up learning that friends can have many meanings and they do not come (only) in the form of human-being.  But, the way the dictionary put the definition(s) to 'friend' might be the reason why Woohyun hadn't had any for years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Small heart of a silent boy

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted on aff. minor corrections here and there. Pls enjoy it :)

 -

It's hard to see a smile on Woohyun's face. It's hard to hear him speak. It's hard to see him around other kids, playing without a care in this world. Sunggyu hardly saw him, ever.

It's been hard on Woohyun. And no one knew.

-

Woohyun always liked the tea parties that his mother held on weekly basis. It would always be on Sundays. Instead of going to the church, his mother always threw a small get-together party where she would invite all her small-circle friends. And they would bring their sons and daughters as well, to mingle and to make friends with one another. At least, that's what she was hoping for.

But, his mother would never understand. She would never understand why her four-year-old son never had a friend.

Woohyun didn't mind it, really. He didn't mind it when other kids decided to ignore him and only played among themselves. He didn't mind every time he had to retreat to the small corner of the playroom (that his mother prepared especially for them to play during the tea parties). He didn't mind it. The worst thing he had to do was just to wipe his own tears away, smiling at the cheerful crowd playing just five-feet away from him.

-

"Nam Woohyun."

He woke up when he heard his name being called. He blinked again and he saw his mother walking into his room with a pair of outdoor clothing, neatly ironed and hung. Woohyun let his mother did the rest of the job for him; dressing him up, buttoning his clothes, gently applying some of talcum on his chubby cheeks. His eyes were half-closed as he almost dozed off while his mother prepared him.

However, he glanced up when he heard a sigh slipping from her lips. Woohyun placed his small hands on her cheeks, his eyes wide with curiosity staring back into her sad ones.  _"Are you okay?"_ he asked. His mother blinked her sad look away and smiled at him.

"I'm fine, Woohyun," she said, smiling at him still.

Woohyun was smart for his age. He knew it when someone lied to him.

 _"Are you sad because of me?"_ he asked again. His tiny fingers caressed her cheeks.

"No, honey. Mummy is just..."

Then Woohyun could only hear her cries in his room. And he hated himself because he didn't know what to do, he hated himself because he secretly knew that he was the reason why his mother was crying right now.

She caught his pearly tears before they could roll down his cheeks, pulling him into a hug as she muttered her apology over and over again. Woohyun didn't know how long they stayed like that, hugging and holding onto each other like lifeline; but he didn't mind. There was no other way to say how sorry he was towards his mother.

"It's okay, honey. We'll try again. Promise me that you'll try?" she asked, her eyes full of hope. Woohyun couldn't say 'no' to her.

_"Okay."_

She fixed his favourite red jersey and patted his head.

"We're going to have the party outside today. You like the Play Garden, right?" she asked, mustering every energy in her body to smile again at her son.

He nodded. And he cringed a little when he heard her sigh again.

"Woohyun..." she said, closing her eyes as she wrapped her hands around Woohyun's small arms. "You need to start talking again, baby. Mummy can't bear to see you like this. Please, Woohyun? I miss your voice," she pleaded.

Honestly, it hurt Woohyun to see her so fragile like this. And it literally hurt whenever he tried to say something. It's been too long since he last talked, let alone make a sound with his mouth.

 _"I'll try,"_ he signed.

When she sighed again, Woohyun was starting to hate the fact that he brought so much pain to his mother.  _I promise I'll try again, mummy._

-

He would never forget the first time he met Sunggyu. It was warm outside and he had left the house without his mother permission to go to the playground near his house. He heard that someone had recently moved to his neighbourhood. That wasn't exactly the reason he left the comfort of his room. It was because Woohyun was starting to miss a human's company. He went out just to see whether what he read from the dictionary was correct.

 

friend  

/frend/

Noun

| 

A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.  
  
---  
  
 

He didn't really understand it, but he still wanted to try. Just like what he had promised his mother. The playground was abandoned that afternoon, leaving Woohyun to pout in disappointment. But he settled down under one of the many trees there and started to draw the empty playground just like every other day that he was here.

Usually there would be children playing around and his drawing would be full of them. He felt a sense of accomplishment whenever he finished a drawing. Even though those kids didn't talk to him, but by drawing them, Woohyun felt that at least he belonged somewhere. It was almost like they were his friends.

But this, drawing the empty place made his heart thump slower. He felt sad all of sudden. It didn't take long for him to cry silently while his hand still carefully drawing the playground.

"Why are you crying?"

Woohyun looked up to see a figure slightly bigger than him towering over his hunched body. His tears blinded him and he made no effort to wipe them away. He was just too taken aback because as far as he could remember, no one had ever approached him let alone talked to him.

"Are you okay?" the boy asked him again, this time it was softer.

Woohyun knew that he was just going to end up crying harder because there was no way he could answer that boy's question. He felt more tears coming out, hiding his face on his knees as his shoulder trembled a little.

"I'm Kim Sunggyu," the boy said. Woohyun didn't know why he introduced himself, but he didn't say anything. He couldn't.

Sunggyu crouched next to him before he awkwardly side-hugged Woohyun.

"Don't cry. Boys don't cry, you know," Sunggyu said softly.

He's a boy too and he himself cried from time to time, but that 'boys don't cry' bait always worked whenever he used it.

People said there's always a first. And this was Sunggyu's first time of meeting a boy that didn't stop crying even after he threw the bait. He detached himself from Woohyun's side and stared at the boy.

"Why are you still crying?" Sunggyu asked, slowly hating the fact how painful it was to look at the small boy crying in front of him. There was no sound made and Sunggyu felt like it was his first time of witnessing something so pitiful and sad in his life.

"Are you a girl?" Sunggyu asked without thinking and Woohyun stopped crying.

Sunggyu was going to say something like an apology, but to his surprise, Woohyun stood up and fled from the scene. He yelled out random names, but never once Woohyun looked back. He sighed in disappointment, feeling guilty.

He picked up the drawing block that Woohyun left and turned on the first page.

|the property of Nam Woohyun|

"I'm sorry, Woohyun. I really am," he whispered, hugging the huge drawing block to his chest before he walked away, back to his new house.

-

Woohyun was playing with his toys in the backyard when his brother returned home from school, drenched in sweats as he frantically called out for his little brother. Boohyun sighed in relief when he saw Woohyun calmly playing with his miniature cars, safely wrapped in his own world where his toys were his (only) friends that accompanied him.

It was comforting to think, to look at small objects such as his toys as his friends. He owned many of them. They were all gifts from his mother, so that he won't feel lonely whenever she and Boohyun weren't around.

"Hyunnie? I'm home," Boohyun said.

Woohyun was in his embrace in no time.

 _"I miss you, hyung. Is school okay?"_ he signed. Boohyun smiled at him.

"School is awesome. You'll like it, Hyunnie. How's your day?" Boohyun asked.

This was how they normally spent their day. The backyard would be their sanctuary as they exchanged stories about their days. If Boohyun had a rough day, Woohyun would cry with him. If there was something funny that had happened, Woohyun would laugh without sound along with his brother.

The day got chillier. Boohyun noticed it as Woohyun tightened his small hands around his waist.

"Are you cold? Let's go in," Boohyun offered, but Woohyun stubbornly shook his head and scooted impossibly closer to Boohyun.

"Hey, are you okay? It's getting cold. You're not wearing your jacket, you'll get a flu, Hyunnie," Boohyun said worriedly.

Woohyun stayed still, shaking his head. He looked up at Boohyun. He opened his mouth, then closed it again.

 _"Will I get a friend when I go to school?"_ he signed.

The dejected look of Woohyun's face would forever haunt Boohyun. He missed his old brother, the one who was a chatterbox. How things changed so quickly.

"Of course you will, Hyunnie. Don't worry, okay?"

Woohyun closed his fingers around the miniature car and brought it closer to his chest.  _For now, you are my friend, Sungjae._

-

Sunggyu met Woohyun again at one of his mother's tea parties. He approached Woohyun, who was sitting in his usual place at the corner of the room while other kids played with one another. Sunggyu had talked to Boohyun earlier. He was surprised to find out that he and Boohyun were same-aged friends.

There was this painful feeling in his chest when he heard from Boohyun that Woohyun couldn't talk. He wasn't a mute. He could talk, he used to be a hyper talker; but Woohyun just stopped talking one day and they all never heard his voice again.

When he walked towards Woohyun, he could tell that the younger boy was afraid. Sunggyu stopped walking and Woohyun stopped trying to disappear into the wall behind him.

"Hello? I think you remember me? I'm Sunggyu," he said, his hand awkwardly hanging in the air. He tried smiling, but it ended up as a crook smile.

Woohyun looked like he's on the brink of crying again. And Sunggyu felt really bad. Why must every time he tried to approach the boy he would end up in tears?

"Um, please don't cry again? I..." Sunggyu found himself at lost for words.

"Woohyun? Sunggyu?" Boohyun called out. Sunggyu turned around to find Boohyun standing close behind him. The boy was slightly taller than him. He smiled at his new friend.

"Why aren't you guys playing with the rest?" Boohyun asked.

"Woohyun, he..." Sunggyu started, biting his lips. He didn't want Boohyun to think that he made his little brother cry.

"Hyunnie? Remember your promise to mummy? You said you want a friend. Sunggyu here wants to be your friend," Boohyun said, taking a step towards his brother.

Sunggyu took a step backwards and watched the two brothers interact. Woohyun kept his head low, tears after tears started to come out. "Wooh..."

He got up a little too fast and darted past his brother. Boohyun turned around to face the dumbstruck Sunggyu.

"Come," Boohyun said, tugging at Sunggyu's hand and started to drag him out of the room. They stopped in front of a red door with a small sign 'woohyunnie' on it. Boohyun gestured Sunggyu to take a seat next to him.

'Let's wait,' he mouthed and Sunggyu nodded.

Sunggyu felt it was useless to wait like this because he didn't know when Woohyun would come out from his room, but he guessed that Boohyun knew his brother well. It was true because after a few minutes, he saw a paper under the door.

Boohyun took the paper, then he handed it to Sunggyu after he read it.

_I'm sorry, hyung. Woohyunnie is bad. He doesn't keep his promise,_

Boohyun shoved a pencil to Sunggyu. He glanced up at the boy, clueless of what to do.

'Talk to him,' Boohyun mouthed at him.

There was panic in Sunggyu's eyes, but once he saw the small drop on tears on the paper, he nodded and started to write a reply.

_Hey. I'm Gyu. Are you still crying?_

He slipped the paper under the door and waited for Woohyun's answer.

_Is my hyung not around?_

He replied,  _He's gone. Please don't cry anymore. I'll feel bad._

The next answer came a bit late. Sunggyu guessed that Woohyun was trying to gather himself to stop crying. Thinking of such thought made him smile.

_Okay. I'll stop. Thank you...Sunggyu hyung._

He replied,  _You called me 'hyung'! You're welcome Woohyun. Can I ask you something?_

_What is it?_

_Why can't you talk?_

Sunggyu thought that Woohyun would never reply to him because Woohyun took too long to write and pass him the paper. He was about to knock on the door to ask whether he was okay or not when the paper was slid back to him.

_Because it hurts. Let's stop, Sunggyu hyung. I'm tired._

He stared at the paper, feeling his mouth going dry as lump of tears formed in his throat. He felt weird because everything that was related to Woohyun, he could almost feel it too.  _Yeah, it hurts Woohyun. Not being able to talk to you._

-

"Here, it's for you," Sunggyu said, shoving a small cage to Woohyun. It was his birthday yesterday, Sunggyu found out from Boohyun. Because Woohyun's mother was busy that week, they were not able to throw a birthday party for him.

Woohyun took it. Sunggyu could almost hear the nonexistent squeal from Woohyun as he cuddled the bunny in his small arms.

"Do you like it?" Sunggyu asked nervously. It was his mother's suggestion to give a bunny to Woohyun, so he won't feel so lonely.

The younger boy nodded eagerly, staring at the white bunny with fascination in his eyes.

 _"Thank you,"_ Woohyun signed, beaming with happiness.

"Er, um, I don't understand sign language. I'm sorry," Sunggyu mumbled.

Then Woohyun took out something from his pocket and wrote something on it.

_Thank you very much. I love it. I'm going to name it. Is it a girl or a boy?_

"It's a girl, I think," Sunggyu said.

_Sunggyu hyung, say hello to Nikki._

"Hello Nikki. Be a good friend to Woohyun, okay?" Sunggyu said softly, joining Woohyun to stroke the sleeping bunny in his arms.

It was Sunggyu's first time seeing Woohyun this happy. His cute teeth can clearly be seen as he smiled happily at the bunny. He might be just a seven-year-old boy that knew nothing about love, but he was sure that he wanted to see only this kind of smile on Woohyun's face.

-

Woohyun learned that besides his toys, Nikki the bunny made a perfect friend for him. She was always there to accompany him and he was happy. He started to smile more. Nikki was a friend that he had never thought he would get. And because of Nikki, he had started trying to talk again.

Nikki couldn't understand sign language, so he always tried to converse with her. He always ended up failing, to his disappointment.

One day, he stood up on a stool in his bathroom. He was shirtless. He climbed onto the countertop, bringing his face closer to the mirror. He gave a small slap to his neck.

He tried to pronounce the word 'mom'. After a few failed trials, he eventually gave up, putting his t-shirt back on and climbed down. When he got back to his room, he went into a panic mood when he couldn't spot Nikki. He started to search through his room frantically. Woohyun heard someone yelling out loud in front of his house.

He saw Nikki at the front lawn  through his bedroom's window and his neighbour yelling something at the pedestrian. Woohyun ran as fast as he could, almost tripping on his way down the stairs. He made a run towards Nikki who was hopping nearer and nearer towards the main road.

He sighed in relief when Nikki was back in his arms, but he looked around, shocked when he heard Sunggyu calling out after him.

"Woohyun! Get out of the way!" Sunggyu yelled out.

He lifted the bunny as if to indicate that he got her and she was free from harm. But then, he heard a loud honk that muffled Sunggyu's frantic voice. Woohyun was frozen as he saw a moving car coming at him. Everything flashed in his mind.

"Daddy!" he screamed even though it hurt so much to do so and eventually slipped out of consciousness.

-


	2. Smallest things heal

 -

Woohyun tried to forget the tears on Sunggyu's face the day he was rushed to the hospital by the car driver that had accidentally hit him. He stared blankly at the white hospital wall, eyes blinking slowly every second. There wasn't anyone around, so he pouted for the umpteenth time.  _I hope Boohyun hyung will be here soon._ His eyes fell on his plastered left leg. Subconsciously, he found his hand touching the hard, white material.

"Does it hurt?" There came a voice at the door.

He was taken aback, his eyes bulging in surprise.

_'Oh, it's you,'_ he signed, smiling at his new visitor.

"I can't understand sign language, remember?" Sunggyu said, laughing softly as he walked closer to Woohyun's bed.

He pouted again. Deep down, he was a little sad because he couldn't talk to Sunggyu normally. He didn't have his pen and notebook with him, so he couldn't write what he wanted to say.

"Hey, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to..." Sunggyu said.

_'It's okay,'_ Woohyun signed despite the fact that Sunggyu couldn't understand him.

"Here. Your mother said to give it to you," Sunggyu stated, handling Woohyun his red notebook.

_'Thank you, Gyu hyung. How did you come here?'_ _he wrote._

"My mother came with me. She went to visit a friend in other ward, I think," Sunggyu said, shrugging. He took a place in the empty chair next to Woohyun's bed.

Sunggyu eyed Woohyun's expression, which seemed like he was concentrating on something. Then, his eyes fell on Woohyun's leg. He touched it lightly.

"Woohyun, does it hurt?" he asked; eyes wide with curiosity.

The younger shook his head. He hoped that he could tell Sunggyu how it hurt instead of just shaking his head because he didn't want the elder to cry again because of him.  _You're such a disappointment, Nam Woohyun._

Sunggyu watched Woohyun's expression turn sad.

"It must have hurt. Get well soon, Woohyunnie," Sunggyu whispered softly before carefully placing a kiss on Woohyun's plastered leg. He smiled his brightest smile at Sunggyu. It was that day when he decided that he liked having Sunggyu around.

"Um, Woohyun? Can I ask you something?" Sunggyu asked hesitantly.

_"What is it, Gyu hyung?"_ he wrote.

"Why can't you talk? You can talk, right?"

There was a long silence. Woohyun seemed like he didn't want to say anything to answer Sunggyu's question, but Sunggyu didn't want to give up. So, he waited. He waited until Woohyun slowly picked his notebook and wrote something inside it again. Sunggyu frowned when Woohyun closed the book and placed it next to his plastered leg before he lied down, closing his eyes.

Sunggyu looked at the notebook and then at Woohyun. Slowly, he took the book and read what Woohyun had written.

_I can, but it hurts._

He didn't know why, but his eyes went blurry after reading Woohyun's answer. Sunggyu tried to shake Woohyun awake, but the younger wouldn't budge. He knew that Woohyun was just pretending to be asleep. So, Sunggyu just stayed there, looking at Woohyun's limp figure until his mother came and picked him up. Before he left, he held Woohyun's hand and kissed it softly. Then he whispered to Woohyun, knowing fully well that Woohyun could hear him (because he wasn't sleeping).

"Get well soon, Hyunnie. We'll talk again later."

After Sunggyu left the ward, Woohyun cried himself to sleep.

-

Sunggyu came again three days later (yeah, Woohyun had been counting days when he could see Sunggyu again). When Sunggyu came, it seemed like everything had turned normal again. Their last conversation still remained in their mind, but both pretended to forget it. Sunggyu never touched the topic of Woohyun's ability to talk and Woohyun never tried to please the elder by trying to say something.

Honestly, Woohyun loved it when Sunggyu talked. He found Sunggyu's slight lisp very cute and funny. It was a good thing that Woohyun couldn't talk because if he could, he would be making fun of Sunggyu. To Woohyun, Sunggyu had this amazing talking voice. When he spoke, his face brightened with an exaggerated expression. Woohyun never knew what passion meant until he listened to (watched) Sunggyu talking.

Sunggyu came to the hospital often. Woohyun didn't know why he was still hospitalized and he didn't ask (why should he ask when Sunggyu came almost every day to talk to him). It wasn't until one day when Woohyun suddenly remembered something. Seeing Sunggyu walking through the door, the first thing that he did was to write in his book (it was full of his part of their conversations).

_'Where is Nikki? Do you bring her along?'_ Woohyun wrote in the book.

Sunggyu read it and he instantly avoided Woohyun's eyes. He felt his eyes watering immediately at the mention of Woohyun's pet. Woohyun shook his shoulder softly, trying to get his attention.

_"Hyung?"_ Woohyun mouthed his word.

"Woohyun, she..."

Sunggyu swore that he never wanted to see Woohyun cry ever again in his life.

-

Woohyun had his cast removed from his leg two months after that. He still hated himself for losing Nikki, his only friend. His mother and Boohyun had been worrying about him ever since he was discharged from the hospital. He was taken to the doctor and they (there were many doctors that he had been taken to) said that he had fallen into a slight depression due to the loss.

Strange as it seemed, Woohyun found solace in an old handkerchief that he discovered in his mother's closet. He touched the embroidery on the black cloth, knowing that it was his father's. He squeezed his eyes tight every time he tried to remember his father. He failed, again. And he cried, again.

He had always wanted...Woohyun didn't know what he wanted. But he knew that he wanted something.  _A friend?_ Woohyun felt so lonely, so lonely to the extent that he slept with his father's handkerchief every single night without fail. For now, the old handkerchief was all he had as a friend. Because Nikki was gone and so did his father.

-

_Those who fell down must get up on their own._  Woohyun remembered his mother telling him that every day. He went to pre-school regularly now and yet, he didn't have any friend. He had just realised how sad it was to be friendless. He jumped a little when he heard the thunder.

With a mild difficulty, he carried himself inside of his pre-school building, limping. He felt warmth oozing out of his skin, his knees hurt from the accidental fall (he was confused of how did he fall because the ground was perfectly flat and stable). He took out the handkerchief that he kept with him every day and pressed it gently onto his bleeding knee. Honestly, it hurt. It hurt a lot.

"What's up, Nam? Going to cry because you 'hurt' your pretty knees?"

Woohyun ignored the boy. He was bigger than him and obviously a bully. When Woohyun didn't respond to him, he said again.

"Oh wait, I forgot. You can't talk. You're a freak! Mute!"

Inhaling deeply, Woohyun then stood on his feet. He glared at the boy before he started to walk away. He was too tired to react. It was always the same thing. He brought himself to the back of his school building and sat down. Woohyun tore the plastic for the band-aid that his mother put in his school bag (his mother was aware of the scratches that he went home with) and put in on his knee.

Woohyun remembered how Sunggyu kissed his leg, telling him to get well soon. He pressed his lips onto the band-aid, image of Sunggyu floated in his mind as he wished for the wound to get better soon.

He was lucky, in a way, because to other kids, a band-aid might be nothing, but to Woohyun, it was another form of friend (how he wished that Sunggyu was here as his friend instead of the lame memory that he had in his mind).

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like it? hate it? want more? lol kudos up and comment pls :)

**Author's Note:**

> like it? hate it? want more? lol kudos up and comment pls :)


End file.
